My long three months brain storming plus busy college life has come to its summer break and i couldn't be more relive. Another term that has been a spectacular experience for me! HAHA! Let me recall it all- we have this foundation week which is the awesome experience i shall not forget, we have this Valentines day which is hilariously insane! we have this debate in English class, my chemistry class has been my worst night mare. I have to make an extra effort for it plus my prof in that class doesn't really favor me, in fact had a bad perception about me, ugh! =,= That prof really got some issue. I don't know, middle age crisis which she put out on me?
Anyway, i just hope i will pass in this subject. =,= And my chemistry Lab class has been my partying class, which is reaaalllyy coool and fun! And about my hopeless crush, i seldom see him, but whenever i bump into him, we're just acting like an acquaintance or something, which is pathetic. Well, i'll keep having crush on him. It'll fade away somehow. oh i'm sure it'll fade away cuz i think i have a new crush. (i whaaattt??!) duh, it's not a big deal, it's just a crush which is nothing can be- agh, forget about it! it's not we're getting together or something. He doesn't even notice it- i guess.
What really drives me crazy is that i kept on thinking about this guy i met in my CL class, like ALL THE TIME! Am i crazy or am i falling in love? Well, this has gone too far. I think i should have a distraction. But how? (CL is a short term of my subject which i don't want him to find out to whom i'm having crush on hahaha). I may sounds pathetic but who cares, i still prior my dream, and along chasing my dream i think i deserve a partner. Well, just saying, maybe someday? Oh, why am i sounds sooo desperate?! This is sooo platonic love! It's just a state of mind! but how come it overruled my mind?
They said the best thing come to those who doesn't expect it, i still believe in that and i'm still crossing my finger. But i also believe that whatever good thing comes to me, something bad will happen too. It's some kinda sacrifice i should take or some kind of risk i should gamble with. But i'm just not brave enough, and it take a whole lot courage. I just want to play it safe to stay out of trouble- i guess. I just- i could not bear the pain. I had it once, and i'm not ready for the next. So, God if there's anyone worth me, please let me meet em' :) But let it be the best time for me to face this kind of situation, i know You know me better.
There has been soo much thing happened in my life that i feel i deserves a break - well, i'm not the boss who can make the decision- i'm just hoping- and i don't know yet. i hope everything will be okay. i just want it simple, but life come- envy of this simplicity and throw me some challenge that burden the hell out of me. And there's a voice keep echoing in my mind- what doesn't kill you make you stronger. I hope i believe in this. But what i'm afraid is that- what doesn't kill me makes me play it safe next time- instead of stronger.
Okay, i have been mumbling all the way down, it's time to sleep. And let just pray for the best, Thanks for blessing, and live this life simple and happy. YOLO.
XOXO, i'm getting mature- i guess.
P/S: uhm, there's nothing to P/S about.
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