why...?

i realize this since i was 11 yrs old... i realize that i always doesn't deserve for better.. i remember it was a basketball tournament in my state, well, i practiced sooo hard tat i didn't know what's 'tired' means so tat i can get choose by coach to represent my state.. it's a big tournament for and I've been waiting for it for all my life..>.< i know 'm that good, far better and i'm the among-st scorer.. i know hat i will be picked... but, i practiced harder..it's bcause i know it's like almost impossible for me to get picked... it's because of my IC... i'm not a citizen people and i dun hve ic... thus, i cannot play... i realized even clearer 2 days before the tournament ... "casandra, i know ur situation and i'm sorry to say that u cnt this participate tournament.." i know it's going to happen... "never mind coach, i just come here to play basketball... and it's ok i cnt prticipate it.. :) " i was ok? i was crying inside for Christ sake..! for the whole point i'm coming practice everyday, i didn't come late to practice, i didn't missed every single practice, i try harder to shot 100 goal 3point-shot evryday ... i focused seriously to my coach whenever he show us new skill, and during the rest time, i didn't rest.. i practice hard for the new skill coach just showed to us.. and at the end, i cant play... who was going to be blame.? i du wanna blame anybody.. that's just bad luck.. and i don't deserve any better.. i know